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Ego Strengths – And Their Absence



Throughout our lives, we will all experience endless irritations and frustrations, as well as many losses—such as being fired from jobs, suffering betrayal and abuse and losing loved ones.

What makes the difference between those who stay down and those who pick themselves up and start rebuilding?

A major contributing factor is the level of ego-strengths which the person possesses. I do not mean "ego" in the sense of egotistical, self-centered or arrogant, but rather in the sense of knowing what I like and dislike, how – and with whom! – I want to spend my time and validating my right to actualize my talents and strengths without being ashamed of my limitations. We recognize people who have it because:

They are not afraid to honestly acknowledge and feel the full range of their feelings – including grief, insecurity, loneliness and anxiety – yet do not get bogged down in these mood states for long.
When they suffer a loss, they push forward, focusing on what they can give to others and accomplish, not allowing self-pity or resentment to cripple them.
They use painful events to strengthen themselves spiritually, focusing on compassion, humility, creativity and faith.
Despite loss, they engage in positive activities (exercise, cleaning, kindness, learning, etc.), knowing that all feelings are transient and eventually fade.
They empathize with others, willing to hear and "hold" the pain others are experiencing without trying to reduce or eliminate the pain.
They are self-disciplined, courageously resisting temptations and fighting addictive urges, even if doing so means going against the crowd.
They take responsibility for their actions, holding themselves accountable and not blaming others for the negativity they may feel at times.
Thanks to their independent sense of self-worth, they know that their essence is good and holy even if others are scornful or dismissive.
They accept themselves, with their limitations, knowing that perfection is a childish demand, and yet strive constantly to do their maximum.
They set firm limits, saying "No" even if it means disappointing others or risking ridicule and rejection. They avoid people who drain them physically or emotionally.
People who lack ego-strengths can be recognized by the following signs:

They are on a perpetual roller-coaster, controlled by their moods, fears and anxieties, constantly thinking, "I can't cope with life."

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Will Zuma bring tribalism to South Africa
Mr Zuma is hugely popular with the ANC party faithful

South Africa's first democratically elected president, Nelson Mandela, promoted a "Rainbow Nation"; his successor Thabo Mbeki an "African Renaissance"; so what will be the overarching vision of a Jacob Zuma presidency?

He has not yet outlined one, but he is likely to do so in his first state-of-the-nation address when the new parliament convenes.

The initial signs are that Mr Zuma will promote a new conservatism in South Africa, digging deep into the nation's cultural and religious roots and threatening Western-styled liberal values enshrined in the constitution.

Mr Zuma's supporters showed these traits throughout his long and bitterly-fought presidential campaign, offering prayers to ancestors, denouncing same-sex marriage as a "disgrace to God", promising a referendum on the death penalty, condemning political rivals as "witches" and "snakes", and defending polygamy as "African".


Of all the white groups in South Africa, it is only the Afrikaners that are truly South African

Jacob Zuma
For Mr Zuma's critics, he has mixed a deadly cocktail of religion, politics and ethnicity to quench his thirst for power.

"The genie is out. He won't be able to put it back," one critic said.

"Mbeki declared this to be the African century, but we now risk going backwards."

Without singling out anyone for criticism, a stalwart of the governing African National Congress (ANC), Zola Skweyiya, expressed a similar concern in the run-up to the party's conference in 2007.

"The demon of tribalism is rising from every corner and we ignore it at our peril," Mr Skweyiya wrote in Johannesburg's Mail & Guardian newspaper.

"We thought we would not go through what the rest of Africa has gone through, but we are just another African country. There is nothing special about thus."

Not 'power-obsessed'

Mr Zuma's supporters believed that a clique from Mr Mbeki's Xhosa ethnic group was determined to hang on to power and block him from becoming the first Zulu to lead South Africa.


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Natural Beauty


Rosemary Hair Rinse


An easy and refreshing hair rinse for brunettes. Rosemary is said to darken hair slightly over time. Even if you're not patient enough to wait for that, this simple mixture makes a nice rinse for use after your shampoo. 

1 application

Ingredients:
1 4-inch sprig fresh rosemary
32 ounces distilled water


Blending Procedure:

Place rosemary in a large bowl. Pour distilled water into a saucepan and heat until boiling. Pour water over rosemary and let steep until cool. (You can use more rosemary for a stronger infusion if you like.)


Bottle the mixture (1 liter seltzer water or bottled water bottles are great). To use, pour over hair, being careful to make sure it comes into contact with each strand. Wring excess water from hair and wait 30 minutes before rinsing out. This mixture will keep well for about one week without refrigeration.

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