He Has Commitment Phobia! Should She Wait?!2/23/2011 2:21:00 AMShe utters the word commitment and he quickly changes the subject or better yet runs from the room....yes, yes, he probably has commitment phobia!!!
The question is, if he has it, should she stick around?!
Ladies, at the end of the day, it will be your individual choice. First and foremost, you have to ask yourself are you settling with this type for sake of love or are you staying the course for fear of being alone?
A woman in love is on one of those paths, no one can really control but her. Friends have to be supportive and family has to love on them even more if the one you see her in love with is an apparent bad choice. Because truth is, while she is blinded by love, she will not see it. It will take her own heart jolting experience with the guy to decide if she is going to stay or go.
And for the lady who is choosing to wait around for a guy with this phobia, for fear of being alone, my simple answer is...you are not quite ready to date...you have to step back and evaluate what causes you to fear being alone, and what are you really expecting the guy you fall for to give you if he commits? Spend some time alone, away from this guy you claim you love, and tap deeper into your fear of being alone.
It could be a great thing to leave him if he is stringing her along, because when she is alone, and not attached to his side...the guy that can love her and can commit without hesistation may be able to finally SEE her!!
Men, with commitment phobia while already in the relationship, please do ask yourself this question...do you have commitment phobia? Or are you having a lot of fun being carefree and not forcing yourself to make the decision to settle down with her?
Did that confuse any guy reading this? Here is more...men, if you have commitment phobia while in a relationship, you usually do not continue to meet other women at bars and online. You generally spend time with the girl in question or time with your friends outside of work. You know you love her, yet, you are fearful of a long term relationship with her.
The opposite of that: online flirting and chatting, hanging out at bars with single friends or married cheating friends and filling up your phone with potential new dates...that my dear, is not commitment phobia, you are simply...
...a player!!
And that would be another blog!
Share your thoughts readers!
Mz DeeVa
The Right Brain vs The Left Brain in Relationships2/22/2011 10:03:00 PMThe Right Brain vs the Left Brain in Relationships according to Mz DeeVa
Often times we enter into relationships and we fail to take enough time to get to know who we are, let alone figure out who the other person we are getting to know is!
My theory is that knowing whether or not you are Right Brain, Left Brain or
some combination of both is a critical link to minimizing the CONFUSION that
tends to go on in the COMMUNICATION process of dating and relationships
with others!
Now know this, it is not too late to test my theory if you are already years into
the relationship or even married. The discovery point of learning that how you
think and how your mate thinks is a great one!! It really makes a HUGE difference in the success or lack of success of your relationship AND could put an end to never ending arguments and bring the romance back that has long since faded away!!
So here we go...
First, here are the characteristics of the Left Brainers and the Right Brainers.
Left brain tend to be more logical, carrying these traits:
-Logical
-Sequential
-Rational
-Analytical
-Objective
-Looks at parts
Right Brain tend to be more Intuitive, carrying these traits:
-Random
-Intuitive
-Holistic
Synthesizing
-Subjective
-Looks at wholes
Now, discover if you are more of a Right Brain or a Left Brain person by going
online and taking this quick and HARMLESS quiz:
http://www.intelliscript.net/test_area/questionnaire/questionnaire.cgi
and then return back to me for my theory....
At the end of the quiz, you were given a scale that showed you whether or not
you were a Left Brainer, Right Brainer or both.
Now....here is the solution beginning to unfold...Have your partner take the
same test. AND....if he/she refuses to, and you have known them long enough,
and know quite a bit about their personality and ways, try taking the test as if
you are them (less likely to be successful in solving your issues if you cannot get
them to take the test, yet, it will help you understand them more, which is your
goal in the first place! -_-
One tip I will share about the Left Brainer. As you see psychologists have
discovered, Left Brainers think in parts....YET, they are so logical and so very
analytical and objective, they will argue me down on this point to a T...The fact
that Left Brainers think in parts, they tend not to see the WHOLE picture of
what is actually going on!! They will make a conclusion on the situation based
on the very few parts they see of it, and will not fairly GRASP the whole
situation!!
Wondering how that has any impact on your relationship?
Because the Left Brainer lacks a lot of emotion and tends to choose the rational
way of thinking in most arguments or disagreements, they are not going to
FEEL as much as the Right Brainer will, nor will they see the WHOLE situation
right up front. It is not to say that you will not get your point across, because if
you can TRULY understand this about the Left Brainer you will learn how to do
so; it is just simply saying as the initial disagreement takes place, the Left
Brainer is going to stand his/her ground because deep down inside, they
honestly feel they are right! It will take the Right Brainer's patience and
willingness to love them enough or care enough to see the Left Brainer through
ALL parts of the discussion in order to get their point across!
Now, I am still currently studying for my Bachelor's in Guidance Counseling, but
that is the information I have studied throughout my Associates in Social Work
Specialization studies and I find it to be ironic that the study of Left Brainers
vs Right Brainers has a SERIOUS impact on how 2 people can successfully
understand each other more in the dating and marriage process, yet I stand
strong on my conclusion that it will make a HUGE difference on the
COMMUNICATION side of things knowing which side of the brain dominates, for you and your partner!
~Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host~